Sunday, March 25, 2018

[Part One: Monday 03/23] Hoping for a Black Vespa

Another benefit of being in The Rubber Room was that Roger, an (extreme) introvert, had to do very little talking. Besides his general “good morning” to anyone within earshot of his cubicle and his specific “good night” to The Psychologist, he didn’t have any non-work-related conversations. And even work-related conversations with The Psychologist were brief. She liked brief emails and even briefer meetings. Introvert? 

However, “teaching” required that Roger talk a lot. One-third of his conversations involved pedagogy, another third bantering, and one-third disciplining, which left less than 1% for silence.

The student files started filling Roger’s inbox, but they were in PDF format, which meant that they couldn’t be copied or pasted. The Psychologist expected Roger to foolishly type the information into SESIS; however, he used Zamzar to convert the PDFs to DOCs and copied and pasted until he was delirious. He thought, “There has to be a better way.” But there wasn’t. Yet, he didn’t complain, because the computer didn’t talk back and it did what he asked it to do without telling him to “[Get the] fuck outta here!” or demanding oral sex. The delirium caused by the monotony of copying and pasting was the far lesser of the two “evils”.

Some gossip via a text message interrupted Roger’s white-collar work. The girls’ basketball coach had been reported for behaving inappropriately with a player. Roger was the boy’s assistant basketball coach; thus, he was (somewhat) confident that the gossip wasn’t concerning his unfortunate situation. However, he had sent the star of the girls’ basketball team a screenshot of an advertisement for the Nike girls’ basketball camp. And he did have an ulterior motive. His plan was:
  1. she would follow his advice and go to the camp
  2. get noticed by a Division 1 scout
  3. become a college star
  4. get drafted in the first round of the WNBA
  5. and as a thank you, buy Roger a black Vespa with a matching helmet

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